May 16, 2004

Meet our American Family. In most ways, it looks very much like the typical family. We work hard at jobs to support ourselves, build a home, pay taxes and secure our retirement. We love each other deeply and unconditionally, giving one another the kind of support system and security that no institution or government ever could. Our union is rock solid, even in difficult times. We have committed to one another for life. Our family, our marriage, undeniably exists.

We operate as a family in every way, except in the realization of critical civil rights.  Tax code, health care, insurance, estate planning and legal protections are directly linked to marriage code. In fact, over 1,000 rights are automatically bestowed upon married couples in this country. In contrast, one of us can be compelled to testify against the other in a court of law, an unthinkable situation for a legally married couple. We pay the same amount into social security as our siblings and their spouses, yet we are not afforded any survivor benefits. Our family has been relegated to "less than equal" status.

Dave & Daniel Fall 2003

Domestic partnerships and civil unions are not the answer. They are not portable and therefore do not protect us across state or national lines. They do not secure our rights in such important matters as taxation, inheritance or federal benefits. These arrangements cannot even guarantee that we can visit one another in a hospital room. Most importantly, civil unions demote hard-working, valuable members of our society to second class citizenship. We cannot accept that for ourselves.

Equal protection under the law defines not only who we are as a society, but who we long to be. As Americans, it is our responsibility to demand full participation in that birthright. The U.S. Constitution is the law of the land. No federal, state or local legislation can override it, not even by popular vote. By selectively denying access to family rights and responsibilities, we contradict our most basic principles.

We know that our love is a gift from the Divine, still we respect the right of any religion to weigh in with an interpretation of right and wrong in the eye of the Creator. However, we the people elect a government to represent us all, not a church. It is the sworn duty of our officials to honor the separation of church and state and interpret the law without regard to any religious affiliation. Civil Marriage must be granted equally to all Americans, exactly as civil divorce is granted without church blessing, biblical judgment or religious interpretation.

Our marriage honors the traditions and examples of our families, our friends and our communities. We generously support the parents, institutions and activities that raise healthy and happy children in our society. Don't believe the hyperbole thrown about regarding the defense of marriage and the feared degradation of the institution.  The fear is misplaced. Long debate has always preceded moments of difficult and courageous change in America. In every case, extension of equal civil rights to disenfranchised citizens has only strengthened the fabric of our great society. We pledge to uphold that tradition as we face a future that recognizes the benefits of marriage for all Americans.

Dave, Jocko and Daniel

We are proud and grateful to be surrounded by so many people who support and honor our relationship. Celebrate in the renewed commitment to the American Family.  Please join us in the fight against misinformation and fear. Help us to put a face on this injustice. Most of all, please lend your voice and let others know that you will not stand for blatant and unfair discrimination against your family, your friends and fellow Americans.

Sincerely yours,

Dave Hendrickson & Daniel Sonnenfeld
San Francisco, CA

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